20 Things I Learned in My 20s

It’s still amazing to think it is a new year and a “fresh start.” Sandwiched between Christmas and New Year is my birthday and this one was a big one…I am officially 30 years old. I went through a lot in my 20s and I am so thankful to move into my 30s. In my 20s I graduated from college, got married, lost my dad to cancer, graduated again, bought and sold a house, put the majority of my possessions in storage to relocate to a tiny apartment, and traveled the world for a year. OH and started this creative space called Lexi & Lady 😉

I wanted to share some of the things I learned in those ten years.

1. If someone walks out of your life, let them. This was one of the hardest things I had to learn. People are in your life for a reason and a season and it is ok to come out on the other side with only a couple of really close friends. It makes you appreciate their friendship more. Love hard, but know when to let someone go.

2. Experience is more important than stuff. Invest in experience. It wasn’t until the hubs and I put away the majority of our belongs and functioned perfectly fine without it that I realized how little value stuff holds. A friend’s great aunt told me once her house was broken into and her jewelry and other valuable items were taken from her. She said it wasn’t until this that she realized the significance of “things” that could not be taken from her, i.e. travel, the ability to cook gourmet meals, learning to fly an airplane, education, etc.

3. Take a compliment, just say thank you. I believe women struggle with this the most. Media projects a certain set of “rules” on what beauty is and therefore causing generations of young women to lack self-esteem and confidence. It’s not our fault we doubt ourselves when we are continuously comparing and questioning. Several years ago I began noticing when some complimented me I instantly would respond with a negative. So now when someone says “you have beautiful eyes” I smile and simply say thank you.

4. It is ok to not meet your deadline. In my early 20s I was focused on promotions, marriage, children, and had a very specific timeline of how my life would unfold. That’s the planner in me. Little did I know there would be more than several roadblocks along my timeline that would ultimately keep me from meeting my self-made deadlines. To this I respond, things will happen, stay focused. Everyone’s life unfolds at different times. Don’t compare your timeline to others.

5. Laugh at yourself. Still one I am learning. I am often the serious one, the planner, and realist. I rarely find a way to laugh at my mistakes and move forward. Tending to dwell on them and get bogged down. Life is too short to take yourself so seriously. Laugh lines are a good thing. 😉

6. Take the risk. Some individuals are risk takers, hell, they seek out risk. That is not me! There is thrill in risk, just make sure it’s a calculated one. You will surprise yourself!

7. Speak your mind. Now I’m not saying to go blurting out every thought that comes to mind. After all, that could be detrimental. What I mean is speak up when you are passionate, knowledgeable, curious about the topic. People will respect your opinions if you offer them up in a meaningful way. A healthy debate is always good for the mind.

8. Get off autopilot. Last year I attended a live stream of Leadercast and one of the speakers expressed the notion of living in the here and now. We tend to move about our days, weeks, and months on autopilot, rarely use the capacity of our brain to sense things, create things, witness things. In other words stop and smell the roses. Some of the most brilliant minds purposely vary their daily routine to engage the portions of the brain that allow them to critically think and create.

9. Get good skincare. WHY didn’t anyone tell me in my early 20s that good skincare was important? This is your wake up call, find and use good quality skincare products. Your face will thank you.

10. Go to the gym. Around 25 I realized my metabolism was slowing down, but it wasn’t until about 28 I decided to do something about it. Make physical wellness part of your lifestyle. They aren’t kidding when they say the older you get the harder it is to get in shape.

11. Go to the doctor. In your early 20s there isn’t much your body can’t recover from, but by the time you are in your mid to late 20s your body won’t cope the same. Feeling tired all the time? Have a nagging headache? Don’t ignore any symptoms because they could be telling you there is more at stake.

12. Be in the driver’s seat of your life and career. While I believe in a higher power who has planned my destiny, I also believe it is important to be in the driver’s seat. Don’t let the power of others dictate how you live your life, your happiness, or how you move within your chosen field. Make the decisions/changes that will positively impact yourself.

13. If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door. There isn’t much elaboration needed here. Don’t continue to knock on a door that won’t open. There’s a reason, move on.

14. Follow your gut. When the hubs and I were getting married our minister told him to always listen to my gut feeling because a woman’s intuition is rarely wrong. Let me tell you…I wish I would have listened to my gut a few times. Always trust that it won’t steer you wrong.

15. Travel at any opportunity. This last year has taught me more about myself than anything I have experienced before. Traveling to new places where you don’t know the culture, the language, the political views of others is hard and eye opening. “Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.” -Gustave Flaubert

16. Try the road less traveled. Why not try the hole in the wall restaurant? You might be pleasantly surprised by what you find and the people you meet. It isn’t always about the big city, the name brands, and the fancy parties.

17. Don’t sabotage yourself. Don’t hold yourself back! Making excuses means you’re sabotaging. If you want something badly enough you’ll go for it. This applies to career, relationships, goals, etc.

18. Learn from any leader. You will experience good leaders and bad bosses. Know that there is something to learn from every single one of them. It may not make sense at the time, but I promise it’s teaching you something.

19. Nothing comes easy, work for it. Enough said. Life isn’t fair, nothing will be handed to you, you have to earn it. So put your big girl/boy undies on and get to work. Work ethic goes along way.

20. Know who you are and accept it, but also work towards the best version of you. We are all version 2.00 and counting. I am Type A, a perfectionist, a planner, OCD at times, but I have come to accept that this is who I am and those strengths are just that…strengths. There are others around me who do not possess the same characteristics I have and this is a good thing. Do I understand my OCD is difficult for others to handle sometimes? Yes! Which is why I am always striving to be the best version of me with consideration of others. If you are a perfectionist, accept that things won’t always go your way, the perfect plan may have a hiccup or two. Use those as teachable moments to improve yourself.

I know this post was long and hopefully you made it to the end. Like I said, I am looking forward to my 30s and in no way do I think I have it all figured out, but hopefully I have had enough life experiences in 30 years to keep me on the right track for another successful 30.

Until next post…xoxo Becca

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